Have you ever had anyone compliment you only to completely negate the compliment by following it with the word "but?" Have you ever had a music teacher say something to you like, "You played that really well, but you forgot to use the dynamics." Did you ever notice that whatever you hear after the but negates whatever came before it?
Think about it. Do you really remember what was said before the "but?" Or do you only remember what came after it? Using "but" after a compliment or validation, doesn't create an environment of encouragement. In many cases, the compliment was put before the "but" so that what came after the "but" didn't feel so critical or negative. Yet, there is an incredibly simple word change that will allow you to provide feedback to your students which will invite, encourage and enroll them to improve and become better musicians.
This is one of the most powerful Diamond Distinctions I will share with you. Utilize it in your communications with your students and you will see an instantaneous change in their improvement and willingness to take on the next step of their education.
Think about it. Do you really remember what was said before the "but?" Or do you only remember what came after it? Using "but" after a compliment or validation, doesn't create an environment of encouragement. In many cases, the compliment was put before the "but" so that what came after the "but" didn't feel so critical or negative. Yet, there is an incredibly simple word change that will allow you to provide feedback to your students which will invite, encourage and enroll them to improve and become better musicians.
This is one of the most powerful Diamond Distinctions I will share with you. Utilize it in your communications with your students and you will see an instantaneous change in their improvement and willingness to take on the next step of their education.
Diamond Distinctions are small word or phrase changes that create
incredible leverage for change in your students.
incredible leverage for change in your students.
Diamond Distinctions are small word or phrase changes that create incredible leverage for change in your students. Many people are not aware of the emotional motivational content behind the actual words they are using. Yet most of the communication we convey relies upon a person's perception of those subtle emotional cues. A simple word change, such as the one I will share with you below, can be the difference between an emotional red STOP light for a student or an emotional green GO light.
Instead of the word "but", try this. Replace the word "but" with the word "and." "I really liked the way you played that, and now, you're ready to add the dynamics." Say it out loud so you can hear and feel the difference. Do you feel how much more powerful invitation for change the word "and" provides?
The word "and", includes, it invites. The word "but," separates.
The tips in this blog are culled from my two books, Coffee With Ray and Lessons With Matt. If you would like more strategies that will both nurture your students into self-directed learners while making your job less stressful and more rewarding, please check them out on Amazon.
Instead of the word "but", try this. Replace the word "but" with the word "and." "I really liked the way you played that, and now, you're ready to add the dynamics." Say it out loud so you can hear and feel the difference. Do you feel how much more powerful invitation for change the word "and" provides?
The word "and", includes, it invites. The word "but," separates.
The tips in this blog are culled from my two books, Coffee With Ray and Lessons With Matt. If you would like more strategies that will both nurture your students into self-directed learners while making your job less stressful and more rewarding, please check them out on Amazon.
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