I must admit, I'm a little strange.  Many of my music teacher friends like students who are easy to teach.  Not me.  Many of my teacher friends like students who are obedient, who follow the rules.  Not me.  Many of my teacher friends like students who are easy to control.  Not me.  To my wife, this has never been surprising.  She'll tell you that I rarely take the easy way out.  I like challenges.  I actually seek out ways to expand my comfort zone.  It's what keeps my life fresh.  It's what keeps my teaching fresh. 

Sure, it's a lot easier to ride a pony then a stallion.  But, unless you're five years old, where's the fun in that?  The simple fact is, I find the students that fit in my comfort zone boring. They don't challenge me.  I like, as the title to one of  Malcolm Gladwell's books says, The Outliers.  The outliers are students who are out of my comfort zone.  They keep me on my toes.  They stimulate my creativity.  They force me to think outside of my box.  They are the reasons my two books were written. They challenge me to enroll them in their vision for their potential as opposed to controlling them into my vision.

That's an important Diamond Distinction for me.  The difference between enrolling them and controlling them. Controlling students takes perspiration, enrolling them takes inspiration.  I know, the ones who are easy to control are the ones who are also easier to teach.  They listen to you, the obey your direction.  So if you're going to teach a full lesson load of forty students a week, it might as well be easy money.  Right?  Perhaps, but not for me.  For me, it's boring money.  Boredom dis-enrolls me.  Boredom is the beginning of the end for me.  

To be candid, I've never really grown as a teacher by teaching the "easy ones."  I've never learned anything about myself, as a teacher and a person, from the "easy ones."  My teaching knife only gets sharpened on objects harder then it.  Just as you want your students to take on musical challenges outside of their comfort zones, why shouldn't you take on teaching challenges outside of yours?

I like having to come up with language that inspires them to seek out their fullest potential as musicians, but more importantly, as people.   That's what enrollment is, inspiring them to take stock in their own greatness.  Aligning their actions with their visions.

What would you say to your students to enroll them in their own greatness?  How would you be a continued source of inspiration for them?  Tough questions.  But perhaps, the next question will guide you to find your answer.  What would someone need to say to you to enroll you in your own greatness?  What words and actions would inspire you?  Those are the same words your students need to hear.  Say them, to both yourself and to them.  Your studio will thrive and so will you.

The tips in this blog are culled from my two books, Coffee With Ray and Lessons With Matt.  If you would like  more strategies that will both nurture your students into self-directed learners while making your job less stressful and more rewarding, please check them out on Amazon.  ​

Happy New Year! I wish you and your families an incredible (in whatever manner that would translate for you) New Year.   Yet, wishing to me isn't good enough. As an Empowered Teacher, wishing is a tool I simply don't use.  So I feel an obligation to provide you with a strategy for actually insuring that you create a year which aligns with your greatest passions and brings you the most joy. 

I'll often hear from teachers with whom I work in private Empowered Teacher coaching practice or with whom I get to interact with in workshops, "Nick, that's a great idea, but when I'm in the heat of the moment, I fall back on old habits.  How can I change that so I can be more effective?"

Well, one of the key elements of making better choices is the difference between reacting and responding. When you react, you continue to create the environment in your lessons from the default mechanisms you have developed over years. Your actions are "knee-jerk reactions", and will continue to yield you the same results. So, if you don't like those results, you might want to take a GAP between the events that happen in your lessons, and whatever it is you do after that.
                                                     
In my book, Lessons with Matt, I speak about the power of the GAP, which stands for Grab Another Possibility. Take a moment to stop, and instead of just doing what you would normally do, think for a minute about the outcome you desire. That's called responding. Once you start responding instead of just reacting, you get to create your life and your lessons from choice. The choice to respond, in a conscious manner that provides you your desired outcome, is a one of the most powerful tools you possess to create the life of your dreams.  That's why most of us feel rejuvenated when we return from holiday.  The holiday gives us a GAP from the reactions through which we often create our lives.  The GAP creates an opportunity for us to reflect and respond by allowing us time to get clearer on what we want.
 
So, I do "wish" you an incredible, passionate, joy-filled year...through the power of the GAP and then responding with a choice that aligns with what you want.

The tips in this blog are culled from my two books, Coffee With Ray and Lessons With Matt.  If you would like  more strategies that will both nurture your students into self-directed learners while making your job less stressful and more rewarding, please check them out on Amazon.  ​

As we come upon the holidays, my family and I visit the different local villages to enjoy the decorations and festivities.  On one of the visits I watched a candy maker making fudge.

Now, I don't know if you've ever seen fresh fudge being made but it's a pretty cool process. The ingredients are put into a vat and brought up to around 237 degrees Fahrenheit. In the middle of the room there is a large, cold granite table. The table has no lip on it.  It's  just a big slab of granite. The fudge maker carries the molten liquified ingredients to the table and pours them onto the middle of the granite. The liquid fudge starts to spread and begins to move towards the edges of the granite. The fudge maker then calmly and slowly walks around the granite table, gently pushing the fudge that's falling off the edges of the granite back into the middle of the table.
                                                     
He continues to walk around this rectangular piece of granite until the fudge has stopped running off the sides. Since, however, it's still not completely cooled he starts to gently push the sides inward creating a firmer form. Eventually it becomes this perfect piece of rectangular cooled fudge. Once it has cooled and formed, he then divides it into the pieces that can be consumed by the customers.

The thing that I found most interesting about this process is that the fudge maker simply kept walking the table, "training" the fudge to stay on the table. He had no negative emotions attached to the process, no frustration, no impatience.  He let the fudge cool and form at whatever pace the fudge needed to do so. He simply continued walking and forming, walking and forming. Watching him was an almost Zen like experience..

I realized that as an empowered teacher, that's really the most effective way for us to do our job, to gently and calmly walk around, continuing to nudge our student in the right direction, letting the student "form" at a pace that is right for that student.  And doing so without bringing any of your own frustrations or impatience to the process. 
                                                     
The important distinction here is the difference between nurturing and forcing.  This week, as you nurture your students to their fullest potential, let the fudge maker be your guide, as a matter of fact, I encourage you to "fudge" your way to success! Facilitate with compassion and kindness gently nudging, nurturing and encouraging your students toward their greatest success.  ​

The tips in this blog are culled from my two books, Coffee With Ray and Lessons With Matt.  If you would like  more strategies that will both nurture your students into self-directed learners while making your job less stressful and more rewarding, please check them out on Amazon.  

This week's blog is about the distinction between time management and activity management. I'm sure you hear students say it all of the time, you may even say it yourself, "I didn't have the time." When you really consider this statement, it's really not a time management problem because time is going to pass whether you do things or not. You don't have much control over time. What you do have control over are the priorities of your activities and this is a key principle for a student to grasp if they are going to become accountable for their progress. 

Often we fill our day with so much noise and so many activities that at the end of the day, we feel frazzled and unproductive. We don't feel like we've really accomplished much. Or, if you have gotten something done, you start to feel like a hamster on that wheel because you are tending to the busyness of life, instead of the business of living. In the case of your students, they need to become aware of the feelings of success they want to create in themselves based upon the goals they have set.  Accomplishing those goals is a matter of activity management, not time management.  If they learn how to manage their activities they will create the feelings of success and motivation that will continue to propel them forward. 

Is the process a quick one?  By no means, but education is a marathon not a sprint.      

That's your Diamond Distinction for today.

The tips in this blog are culled from my two books, Coffee With Ray and Lessons With Matt.  If you would like  more strategies that will both nurture your students into self-directed learners while making your job less stressful and more rewarding, please check them out on Amazon.  ​

Before I share with you the tools to manage the feeling of frustration, it's important to know that when you get fully frustrated, you can't learn anything except how to handle frustration. You certainly can't learn how to do whatever it is you were trying to do.  Often a caring adult will try to cheerlead the child through the frustration and that may occasionally and temporarily work, but it doesn't give the student the skills to control it on his or her own. ​

The first tool is to take a break.  How long is entirely up to the learner. It could be thirty seconds, a minute, a day, but you need to take a break.  The second tool is to ask someone who knows more than you for help. The third tool is to make the goal easier. Take a smaller chunk. Try playing separate hands. Do less.  A line instead of a page.  You want to create feelings of success for yourself and your students all of the time.

Solve your students problem for them and you will have to continue to do so.  Give them the tools and show them how to use those tools and they will be able to solve their problems on their own.

Focus on what you want.

    One of the problems with our profession is that many people, just because they took piano (substitute your chosen instrument here) lessons for a short period in their life, think that they are qualified to tell the person they hired to teach their child, how to do their job.  I’m talking about parents.

Chefs and Contractors
Would  you go into a restaurant kitchen and, just because you cook at your home and  people like the food, tell the chef how to cook your food?  Do you tell your contractor, because you built a birdhouse in your junior high school wood working course, how to build your home?  Of course not!  Then why do parents feel it is okay, with limited knowledge of the piano, to tell their music teaching professional how to do their job?


Here is the simple answer: because music teachers let them! 
That’s right, we let them.  I’m pretty certain that if I approached my home contractor with home building advice or opinions (because ultimately when a parent interferes with our curriculum for their child, it is their opinion, not their knowledge that they are stating) he would at best laugh at me, at worst, hit me in the head with his hammer!  But music teachers let them because as educators, we were trained to be compassionate, to be the "voice of reason," to understand, to be patient and tolerant.  Most of those attributes do not necessarily reference the "professional respect of our job.

How can a minimally educated parent derail our work with their child?  By:

• supplementing material (“They liked that song”)
• writing in finger numbers or note names (“They were having trouble remembering them.”)
• prescribing exercises (“Hanon was great for me when I was taking lessons.”)
• supplying You Tube videos, (“I thought it would be easier for them.”)
• giving a child a set of mnemonic for memorizing the lines and spaces (“That’s how I learned it.” - SIDE NOTE: that was probably 45 years ago, hopefully we have evolved because that is one of the worst ways to learn how to read music!)

    Now I’m not saying that a parent’s intervention is necessarily malevolent. I’m sure their intentions are based in compassion (well most are, some are based in ego, but that’s a post for another time).  But the effects are usually negative on the student.

   
Two laces on a shoe create a knot, two  teachers simultaneously teaching a student (professional teacher and parent), can create a mental knot called confusion.   Often, when we arrive at such a lesson, our time is wasted because we have to untie this mental knot created by someone else.  And simply put, I do not like undoing another person's mess.

Not easy, but possible, with the right communication.Here's what to say:

“Mr/Mrs. X.  I appreciated your intention in working with [Student Name] this week.  If you are interested in helping [Student Name] during the week, and assuming [Student Name], is okay with that, the best thing to do is to let me know, so that I can provide you with the most effective tips based on the curriculum I have created for [Student Name].   My ultimate goal is that [Student Name] doesn’t get confused, continues to feel successful and I’d be concerned that if you present material in a way that doesn’t coincide with the curriculum I have for her, she may lose any of the gains we have had in lessons.  So here are some things you can do.” 

Then tell the parent how you want her to interact (or not) with you and your student.

Remember, you are the music educational professional.  You are not just a music teacher.  You are a professional, who trained for many years to do your job.  Make sure, in a professional manner, that parents respect this.